Word Brains

By Irvin Mcclain

 When it comes to furnishing nurseries, the easiest bit has got to be getting pregnant in the first place! As a first time mum some 26 years ago, the choice was very limited in what you could buy or make. It was all very practical, but not really attractive. Co-ordination meant having more than two items that matched! In those days, in the UK, everything a new mum needed came from one shop - Mothercare, unless you had the income to allow shopping at the more select department stores. Comparing prices, styles and availability on the Internet was not an option because the Internet did not exist.

When a very close friend found she was pregnant recently, I took time to have a look at what was available. A fan of all things New England (the family will be emigrating from the UK when all the paperwork is agreed), I wanted to see if I could find something special for her.

Looking now at the websites offering bedding for cribs, my first problem was to understand some of the different terms. It wasn’t until I saw some pictures that I realised that in the US a ‘crib’ is a ‘cot’. In the UK a ‘bassinet’ is not a baby bath but a ‘moses basket’ and a ‘cradle’ is a ‘crib’. Confusing, isn’t it? I’ve made a little table to try and make it clearer.

(US) Crib = (UK) Cot

(US) Bassinet = (UK) Moses Basket

(US) Cradle = (UK) Crib

The American sites have so much more to offer than the UK ones. That’s not to say that all the goodies available in the US aren’t available here because they are. However, the choice of design, colour etc. is very limited in the UK. Enter ‘bedding for cribs’ into the search engine and you will find several very good sites in the US offering literally hundreds of different designs, with a good variety of price and quality. No longer is it a matter of just finding matching crib bumpers and quilts, with possibly matching curtains and perhaps a wallpaper border, the whole nursery can be styled in both furniture and material to suit whatever your particular dream might be. I even found a black and white gingham (check) set that looked stunning in the accompanying photograph.

I found some lovely bedding for my friend’s nursery, but in the end I didn’t buy a quilt to match. In New England style, I had one made for her to go with the rest of the linen, with the baby’s name on it too. Hopefully the complete set will be something that will remain in the family for many years to come.

No discussion on bedding for cribs would be complete without considering some important basic safety issues. You will find some good tips on safety by following the link at the end of this article; I strongly suggest that you take a look at the tips on safety before you buy any bedding for your crib.

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Ideas for Naming Your Baby

By Irvin Mcclain

 Getting ready for a new baby can be exciting, exhausting, and exhilarating all at once. One of the most challenging obstacles for new parents can be choosing a baby name. A name will identify your child throughout their life, people will form opinions about your child based solely on their name, and the name you choose will also play a role in molding your child’s personality and behavior. Learning baby name meanings is a good first step in narrowing your choices.

Biblical and Hebrew Names

Biblical and Hebrew names are probably the most popular names in the United States. Michael is consistently one of the most popular name for boys. In 2004 it was second, with the other four top five boy’s names in order being Jacob, Joshua, Matthew, and Ethan. The origins for all are biblical or Hebrew. Biblical names for girls also endure consistent popularity with Hannah, Abigail, and Samantha being in the top ten most popular. Sarah, Rebecca, and Jessica also have enduring usage.

Vintage Names

It is sometimes possible to “date” someone by knowing when their name was popular, especially for fad names that are used for only a short period of time due to the current popularity of a singer, movie star, or fictional character. Consider Marilyn, Jacquelyn, and Shirley, all examples of names that became popular for brief periods because of public figures. Another source of old-fashioned sounding names is classic literature.

Baby name meanings are often less important in vintage names, since usually the original meaning is secondary to the cultural associations. Girl’s names seem to be more subject to trends and fads, as well, with boy’s names changing less. For old fashioned names, look to your grandparents or great-grandparents, books, and movies from the era you would like a name from.

Ethnic Names

Choosing a name based on your ancestry can be a way of showing pride in your heritage and passing that on to your child. Names from other cultures can also be a way of giving your child a less common name, but without some of the negative associations that can come with making one up. You can look to other languages for different spellings of common names, too. Using a common name in a foreign language can result in a distinctive name for your child, for instance the Swedish Mattias instead of Matthew.

Another option for a distinctive name is to use family names. Find out what your grandparent’s or great-grandparent’s middle names are. Using a mother or grandmother’s maiden name can be a way of providing a unique identity for your child while preserving family ties and heritage.

Unisex Names

Choosing a unisex name can be an easy compromise rather than coming up with a “boy name” and a “girl name”, but it is rarely necessary now that most expecting parents know the gender of their child before birth. Unisex names can seem stylish and clever, but be aware that gender confusion can upset children. It’s a safer choice to give a unisex name like Mackenzie, Tracy, or Morgan to a girl. It is more accepted for women to go by seemingly masculine names than for men to go by feminine sounding names. Plenty of girls with feminine names like Samantha or Maxine may even go by shortened forms that are male names like Sam and Max.

Hollywood Names

Hollywood often sets the style for baby names, just as it does for so many other trends. The rich and famous rarely give their children common names. They range from the old-fashioned and classic to made up and unique to downright strange. Consider Frank Zappa, who named two of his children Moon Unit and Dweezil. Madonna’s children are named Lourdes and Rocco. Nicole Kidman and Tom cruise named their children Isabella Jane and Connor Anthony. They traverse the spectrum, but one thing almost all celebrity children have in common is that their names are not.

Creating a Name

Making up a name for your baby is becoming more popular, but it is still a choice you should consider carefully. There is some evidence of job discrimination when it comes to applicants with extremely unusual or made up names. Your child may also be subject to frequent mispronunciation by teachers and later coworkers. Creating a new name can also give your child a strong sense of identity, as with using a word not normally thought of as a name. Make sure you check dictionaries and other reference sources if you make up a name, though. It could already be an obscure word that may potentially embarrass your child.

Names and Personality

The name you give your child can go on to affect their personality, their behavior, their self-worth and their identity. Choosing a strange and unusual name can make your child a target for teasing and bullying. While using words for names, or making them up entirely, is gaining some popularity, your child will probably still encounter prejudices based on their given name. Some children may even choose to change their names as adults or to use their initials instead of given names.

Using a name that is extremely common also has its pitfalls. If you select an extremely popular name for your child, like Matthew, Brittany, Dylan, or Ashley, it’s probable that he or she will be one of several in his or her class at school. While that may not be an issue for your child, some may feel as though it is difficult to establish an independent identity. Others may feel that they don’t fit in if they are identified differently than other children, such as by last name or first name and an initial, if other children aren’t also identified that way.

Tips for Choosing a Name

Try saying the name out loud. Make sure it sounds good with your last name. It may take some time for you to get used to it. Avoid names that can easily be turned into taunting nicknames. See if the name you like rhymes with any words likely to be used in an insult. You might not want to use Bart as a nickname if you choose to call your son Bartholomew.

Check to see if the initials spell anything potentially embarrassing. If you are making up a name, check the dictionary first. Urban legends are rife with stories of children named something embarrassing by unwitting parents. Remember that your child’s name will be with them for life. Choose something that they will be proud of.

Coming up with prospective names for your child doesn’t need to be difficult and fraught with arguments. Discovering the different name origins of common monikers can be both fun and educational. Even if you have already decided to use a name that has been in your family for generations, learning baby name meanings can still be fun.

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What is the impact of overbearing moms on daughters?

By Dr. Jennifer Lagrotte, DMFT,

 There are many things that need to be taken into account when raising a child. There is certainly more to think about than simply teaching values and morals. How a mother interacts with her daughter, or behaves toward her daughter can either help to build up her daughter’s character or break it down. Most parents want their children to grow up to be the best individuals they can be, regardless of whether they choose to be a geneticist or a manger of the pub downtown. However, many will neglect to realize how easy it is to damage their daughter’s confidence in herself and her abilities.

A daughter with a mother, who is more critical than supportive of most of her efforts in school, or in a hobby, is less likely to feel she can achieve anything. In fact, she may lower her standards in many areas of her life so that she does not feel like she is bringing as much disappointment to her mother. At first, when the daughter is young, and still feels that she may still be able to obtain some approval from her mother, she may work really hard in school to get the high grades she thinks she needs. She may also try to be the best at any hobby she gets into, feeling that no matter how hard she tries she has far more work to do before she can improve to the level she needs to be at. The daughter’s attitude toward work can eventually lead to almost an unhealthy obsession where she has to have everything done perfectly. This however, will not go on forever. In fact, as more time passes and as the mother remains critical of most of her daughter’s efforts, the daughter may reach a breaking point where she gives up altogether. The marks at school do not matter anymore and she may start to believe that putting effort into her post-secondary studies is pointless because she will never be good enough.

There is little more damaging to a person’s confidence, self-esteem and self-worth than if they are more focused on trying to impress and meet the standards of their parent instead of their self. A person should be working to improve themselves because they want to, not because they think it will make their mother happy. As time goes on, the rift in the relationship between mother and daughter can continue to widen until there is no relationship left. The daughter moves farther away and works to live her own life and try to find some happiness in something else instead.

This does not have to be the relationship between mother and daughter. In fact, if help is found sooner than later, the future relationship can be a healthier and happier one. Seeking help from an online therapist or online counselor can help improve the relationship. Online counseling or online therapy can go a long way to helping the mother and daughter understand each other better, and find ways they can change things so they do not grow further apart.

Dr. Jennifer Lagrotte, DMFT is the owner of CompleteCounselingSolutions.com which offers a variety of
href=”http://www.completecounselingsolutions.com/sessions.php”>online counseling services. If you would like to know more about Jennifer or any of our online therapists, visit our website.

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