Baby Showers Can (spelling) Be for Adoptive Parents, Too

By Dwain Griffith

  We all hear about baby showers for expecting parents, but what about for adopting parents? An adoption baby shower is more than acceptable - it’s encouraged! Adopting parents have the same needs as any other new parents would, but with a few minor considerations.

You should steer clear of planning a surprise celebration on the day the family brings their child home. This can be a very emotional time - the new parents and child (especially if the child is older) will need a period of adjustment. It is very important to be sensitive to their needs. In this case, delivering care packages and planning your celebration for a later date would be acceptable and appreciated. Be sure to talk with the new parents and find out what their wants and needs are before you set a shower date.

Your shower invitations should be sent out three to four weeks in advance, and should include the time, date, and location of the shower. Don’t forget to set an RSVP date with your telephone number and address. If it is at all possible, include the child’s birth date, as well as when he or she was officially adopted or welcomed into the home of his or her new parents. This will help your guests to pick age appropriate gifts. In the case of foreign adoptions, you could also add information about the birth country to inform your guests.

As with other baby showers, the theme for an adoption baby shower should be the same. However, if the child that was adopted is older, you should tailor your party to suit their age and favorite things. For example, a small girl might love everything that involves the Disney princesses and may go absolutely crazy over the color pink. In turn, an older boy may be fascinated by soccer and anything green. Don’t be afraid to be a little creative to help make the party a special celebration to welcome the new child into your circle of family and friends!

Baby shower games are important too! However, stay away from games that are maternity-related. It’s very important that you keep in mind that you are celebrating the gift of adoption. Your games help set the tone of the party, and should be mixed in with any other activity going on. An average shower lasts about two hours, so look at playing two to three party games. If the new parents are adopting an older child, make sure your games reflect that as well. One great adoption party activity is to organize a Welcome Book for the new child. Ask guests to bring pictures of themselves and their families to assemble into a scrapbook page they will create at the shower.

All of your shower decorations will naturally depend on the style, theme, and number of people attending. Balloons and streamers are standard, but there are a lot of creative and fun ideas to make the party extra-special. You’re truly only limited by your imagination here.

If the adoption is an international one, you could use decorations that reflect the child’s place of birth, and include recipes from his or her home country. For guests, it will be a learning experience.

As with decorations, party favors should match your shower theme and party size. Your favors can be used as place settings, prizes, or they can be handed out at the end of the party. A very popular idea for adoption showers is a special program for guests to keep. Written inside should be commitments to the child from his or her new parents, poems about love, family, and adoption, and prayers for the future.

When labeling your favor, keep in mind that your party is, again, in honor of an adoption, not a birth. Your wording on gift tags should reflect that.

Adoption is a very exciting time for the new parents. A baby shower or welcome party allows friends and family members to share in on the family’s joy. When you host or even attend such a party, it is very important to know the needs and wants of the parents. Be sure to know ahead of time how old the child is. Find out if the parents have registered anywhere. Parents who are adopting should be reminded that they can actually register for older children as well as newborns.

By planning and hosting an adoption party, you are helping the new family formalize the acceptance of their child into their circle. You will be creating an occasion that will be documented for the child to look at in the future and remind them how much they were welcomed and loved from the start.

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What drives someone to substance abuse?

By Dr. Jennifer Lagrotte, DMFT,

  When the topic of substance abuse comes up, most will start talking about what initiatives families and doctors have taken in order to help with a problem that has gotten out of hand. What most seem to focus on is what to do after the problem is firmly cemented in place; instead of looking at what could be done in order to prevent such problems. While it is true that most cannot look into the future and know for certain that someone they know will develop an addiction, it is also true that one can see the signs long before the addiction fully develops.

There are many reasons for someone to turn to substances. Whether they are street drugs, prescription drugs or alcohol, they are all avenues of escape from some form of pressure the individual is experiencing. Peer pressure is often seen as the common reason for teenagers to become involved in this. What parents and older people will forget is that these teenagers may be experiencing stress from other sources, such as from problems in the home. It can sometimes take a few shoves from different sources for a younger person to turn to this kind of life. For older people, and younger as well, the job or constant feeling of failure can be a couple of the big reasons for looking to substance abuse. Of course, depression, anxiety and over all unhappiness can all lead to one looking for something that can offer them some form of relief. By this point, the consequences of their actions or choices are not going to be foremost in their mind, because the extreme stress and pressure they are feeling on a daily basis are simply too much.

Anyone who notices a sudden change in behavior of a loved one, friend or acquaintance should not quickly brush it off. This can be a subtle sign that life is becoming too much for them. The loss of a job, difficulties in one’s relationships, trouble at school, loss of interest in activities they once enjoyed, depression and increased stress are all things that could lead one to break and seek a quick fix. Sometimes, taking the moment to encourage them to just seek some help from an online counselor or online therapist could mean the difference between a destroyed life and one that gets better. The online counselor can go a long way in helping the person handle their situation in a better way. The online therapist would be someone they could tell their worries to in confidence, and who could make a huge difference in their life. One may not realize how another individual may react to something. Only that individual knows what they have been through and how much stress they have dealt with. Consideration has to be given to the fact that the stressed individual may be closer to the edge than one may realize. What may seem a small issue to one may be just the push the other didn’t need.

Dr. Jennifer Lagrotte, DMFT is the owner of CompleteCounselingSolutions.com which offers a variety of
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Inexpensive Ways to Decorate Your Bathroom

By Gail Logan

  When it comes to home decorating there are few rooms that have quite the impact of a bathroom or kitchen when being decorated. There is something wonderful about taking a tired old bathroom and making it seem bright and shiny once again. Most people, however, cringe at the thought of a bathroom remodel fearing the absolute worst when it comes to their financial situation once all is said and done. The good news is that small steps can lead to big changes in rooms as small as bathrooms. These small steps do not have to have large prices in order to be highly effective.

My suggestion with a bathroom is to assess where the worst blemishes and eyesores may be. Painting the walls can be a good place to start but you should first decide whether you are planning to remove any cabinetry. This is one room where it is best to save the painting for later in the project rather than the beginning. The vanity in many bathrooms takes up a good deal of real estate. Gone are the days when chunky cabinets were the popular choice for bathrooms. Now people want the bathrooms to have the appearance of a wide-open space. This means that cabinets and vanities are becoming smaller rather than larger.

Most homeowners find that the removal of bulky cabinetry in the bathroom often leads to some degree of patching required for the drywall and noticeable gaps in flooring. These will need to be addressed fairly quickly, which means that now is a good time to select color options for the walls and flooring. Smaller bathrooms do well with lighter colors on the walls in order to give them a larger appearance. Use towels and decorations to bring in darker accents but keep the walls light and bright. Also choose paint that can withstand the high humidity of bathrooms.

Flooring in a bathroom also needs to be able to withstand high heat and humidity as this room is rather abusive to floors and walls. For this reason, hardwood is not the floor of choice for most bathrooms. Ceramic tile is an excellent choice and not terribly expensive. There are also some laminates that are designed to respond well to a high humidity environment such as will be found in a bathroom. Choose flooring that will accent the walls and the overall sense of dcor you are hoping to achieve when decorating your home and bathroom, as this is not something you are going to want to change often.

The toilet in a bathroom is fairly simple to purchase but I recommend leaving it be unless it absolutely needs to be changed. This is not a simple procedure for the novice and experts are expensive. In this case “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it” is an excellent motto to live by. The same holds true with the shower. If, however, you simply cannot live with your shower (or bathtub) as is, you may want to try hiring professionals to come in and resurface your tub. This is much less expensive than purchasing a brand-new tub and will have yours looking bright, shiny, and as good as new. Again you can avoid the high cost of a plumber despite the fact that you are paying for professionals to resurface.

To top things off, you will be amazed at the difference that new knobs, fixtures, and hardware can make in a bathroom. Add a couple of lamps for subtle lighting and some decorative touches of your own and you have a brand new bathroom without spending a king’s ransom in order to do so. The shower curtain and ‘guest’ towels should be your largest splurges in your bathroom, as they will tie the room all together. You shower curtains and towels will blend the colors and designs in order to create the overall atmosphere you should be hoping to achieve in your bathroom. And all of this can be accomplished one step at a time no matter how sparse your budget may be.

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