Word Brains

By Hong Kirby

 Homeschool parents benefit from technology to enhance and complement traditional ways of teaching on school campus. There are several educational software and teaching packages that can help develop a curriculum. The internet is a very useful means that is full of educational resources; online dictionaries, libraries, encyclopedias and museums.

Depending on your State’s homeschooling law, the following may apply:

1. School officials can inquire about the parents’ qualifications to instruct or teach their child; however instructing parents do not necessarily need to have a particular educational qualification. A high school graduate or less can instruct the child, provided that she has the capability and a sound mind.

2. Children in the elementary level should be taught the following: English, which includes reading, spelling and writing; math, geography, science, civics, history, physiology and health, music, physical education and art.

3. Children in the high school level, should be taught the following: English, which includes speech, language, literature and composition, science which will include chemistry and biology; social studies, geography, economics, history of the U.S.A, world history, mathematics which will include algebra, geometry and statistics; music, art, physiology and health, physical and safety education.

4. School officials can inquire regarding subjects that the child should study, demand the length of homeschool year, and allocate instruction hours for every subject.

While they can determine instruction hours for every subject, they should not control the method in which these subjects are to be taught.

This means that homeshooling parents can determine and evaluate instruction hours based on their method of homeschool, not necessarily to be able to imitate the public school, rather equal and match it according to efficiency and systematic approach.

In homeschooling, it is up to the parent to determine the child’s intellectual needs. Subjects to be taught do not require specific hours of teaching, although each subject needs an allotted time, in order for the child to absorb fully what is taught.

Moreover, schedule keeping is not a significant factor in homeschooling where usage and understanding of time are so much different.

5. School officials can recognize and classify instructional materials, only for the reason of determining the subject and the child’s grade or level. They should not utilize this right to demand the way or style of teaching, with which subjects are to be taught.

When the child is having difficulty in a certain subject, for instance in reading, then the parent should allow longer hours for reading allowing the child enough time to learn that particular subject.

On the subject that the child willingly and easily learns and grasps, the parent may shorten the time spent on that subject and allocate the extra hours for subjects which the child finds hard to comprehend, to subjects that the child poorly progresses on.

At homeschooling, the child can take the time to learn and explore each subject at his/her own speed, in his or her own capacity. And the parent can find creative ways to make learning and teaching fun.

A few efficient and helpful teaching materials that are not tangible, such as community service, travel, visits to parks and museums, etc., will definitely grant significant learning skills and knowledge aside from those learned from books.

6. Parents and school officials must reach an agreement on a system of evaluation or assessment for the child; either standardized testing, periodic reports on the child’s progress or dated samples of work.

Determine your child’s learning ability and style so that:

1. You’ll know what approach to use or be well equipped in teaching them. It is a wrong notion that some parents have, to presume that their kids learn the way they do. For example, when parents are visual learners, they also expect their children to be visual learners. Just remember that children are different individuals; usually having distinct learning styles compared to their parents and even their siblings. The sooner that you learn and comprehend each child’s learning style the sooner that you can effectively teach them.

2. You’ll be prepared to decide on a curriculum for homeschooling. If you are not familiar with your child’s learning styles, there is the possibility that you will select a curriculum that can not be an effective tool for your child’s learning.

3. You can better identify and understand your child’s educational needs. When children fail to effectively communicate, they, much like everyone else, get upset and discouraged. However, if you understand your child’s learning styles, you can be able to assist your child to understand themselves better, enabling them to interact and correspond better with their peers.

Understanding their learning styles and their capabilities will enable you to determine how many hours they need for each subject; homeschooling does not require strict hours of teaching your child in any subject. It all depends on how well your child progresses; if he can do his math in less time in regard to the curriculum set for him, then good. If you feel he needs to spend more time in reading, then he should.

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Dealing with Demanding Children

By Danial Holland

 Demanding children - children who have entitlement issues - seem to be common these days. Like the obnoxious child, Veruca Salt in Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory, who was constantly demanding that her father get her whatever she wanted (”I want an Umpa Lumpa! Get it for me NOW!”), we hear many children today uttering the fairly constant refrain, “I want ….! Give it to me! Get it for me, now!” They seem to be masters at instilling guilt in their parents through phrases such as “It’s not fair!” or “You don’t love me!” or “What about what I want?”, or by getting angry, shutting down or crying piteously.

Why are there so many demanding children?

Olivia grew up with a self-centered demanding critical mother who never let her have her feelings. Olivia learned early to take responsibility for her mother’s feelings by being a good girl. Now, as a parent herself, and not wanting to do to her children what her mother did to her, she has gone the other way. Rather than being demanding and self-centered, she is compliant and self-sacrificing. Rather than being an authoritarian parent like her mother was, she is a permissive parent, giving in to her children’s demands rather than setting appropriate limits.

Olivia tends to give much to much credence to her children’s feelings. All they need to do is be upset about something and she stops what she is doing to attend to them. They have learned to use their feelings of hurt, irritation and anger as a means of control. Olivia thinks she is being loving when she makes it “safe” for her children to express their feelings. The problem is she is not discerning the difference between having feelings and using feelings as a means of control. Because she gives her children’s feelings so much importance, her children have learned to use their feelings against her.

Olivia’s children need to learn to care about Olivia instead of just trying to get her to give herself up to meet their demands. The only way they will learn to care about her is if she learns to care about herself.

Demanding children are difficult to be around. They have a hard time keeping friends and as adults they create chaotic relationships. So let’s take a hard look at what we need to do to support caring in children rather than self-centeredness. Authoritarian parenting often creates compliant/caretaking children, while permissive parenting seems to create narcissistic children. Neither authoritarian nor permissive parenting is loving parenting - parenting that supports the highest good of both children and parents. Let’s break the cycle of creating caretakers and takers. As parents, we need to learn to:

* Take loving care of ourselves rather than constantly give ourselves up to our children’s needs and feelings.

* Set appropriate limits rather than always complying with our children’s demands.

* Care about our own feelings as much as we care about our children’s feelings.

* Not allow our feelings and needs to be invisible to our family.

* Accept rejection from our children rather than give in to them to avoid being rejected.

* Learn to discern the difference between children’s feelings that need to be attended to and feelings that are being used to manipulate.

* Expect to be appreciated and respected rather than accept being taken for granted.

It is not a matter of swinging back to authoritarian parenting. It is a matter of expecting to be treated with respect and caring. Your children will learn to treat you the way you treat yourself. If you allow your feelings and needs to be invisible because you are not attending to them or making them important to you, your children will learn to see you and others as invisible. Children who see themselves as important and others as invisible because this is what their parents are role-modeling may become narcissistic, self-centered, demanding children.

It is not easy to move out of caretaking and into caring about yourself and others. Caretaking others was likely a form of survival when you were growing up. Yet to truly be a loving parent, you need to have the courage to behave in a way that fosters caring and consideration in your children, and this will never happen if you consistently put yourself aside for others.

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